As I’ve mentioned before, I am one of the ultimate night owls. I don’t like to sleep at night. I find it physically and psychologically painful to sleep early. BUT . . . (you knew a but was coming, right?) . . . I am not getting enough done lately. Today was probably the first time in a week that I’ve actually cooked something for dinner, my reading is way behind, and let’s just not think too hard on the state of the laundry pile. It may be easier to just buy everyone new clothes.
So my big project for the next few weeks is to reset my sleep cycle and maybe, just maybe, get enough sleep at night that I’m not dragging all day. I just can’t function well on 4 or less hours of sleep.
This is especially important because I’ve got a lot of doctor’s appointments and such scheduled for early summer. We have 6 kids at home and they all need eye exams, dental checkups, annual physicals, and goodness knows what else along the way. The Ninja needs a tooth pulled, my oldest daughter the Bear needs her wisdom teeth extracted, and the baby is going to need ongoing eye exams to see if his crossed eyes and horrible vision are improving. And they all depend on ME getting it done. Heck, even the 27 year old had me drive him to get his wisdom teeth extracted. He’s still wondering if he really flirted with the dental technician. And only me and the dental technician know for sure! ;-)
Anyway, I need to get all this stuff done before the end of the summer. If you wait until August to try to get a kid a physical, forget it. So I need to get enough sleep that the idea of dragging the kids through town isn’t quite so appalling. It takes a lot of mental energy to take two hyperactive boys, one autistic young woman who is a runner, a grumbly teenager, and a baby anywhere. I took them shopping for their older sister’s birthday presents last weekend. Whew. It’s a wonder I am still sane.
I just hope that more sleep doesn’t necessarily mean more dreams. My brain has been sending me nightmares lately, and I’m not enjoying them. Remember all that 70’s cultural nonsense about “dreaming in color” and lucid dreaming and all that? I remember overhearing stuff about it when I was a kid and wondering if it really was important if you dreamed in color. Because I don’t only dream in color, I dream in Technicolor with a virtual reality headset.
Yeah, my dreams are so realistic that I am continually waking up only to spend the rest of the day trying to convince myself that the dream wasn’t real. My husband has suffered through some bad days where I had dreamed he did something awful . . . and then was grumpy with him for the next few days. Sure, I knew logically that he hadn’t ACTUALLY pushed me off a cliff or kissed some other woman or left the baby in the car in the heat, but my emotional side of my brain was pretty resistant to the notion that I’d just dreamed it.
So I’m fairly tired of that kind of thing by now. While I’ve had some dreams turn into interesting story ideas, mostly they’re nightmares about losing my kids or being hunted by some monster. Heart-pounding waking-up-crying stuff. Tiresome. And my brain doesn’t CARE that I’m only falling asleep at 6am and can only hope for a couple hours of sleep at best, it’s determined to get its dreamtime in. Silly brain.
Anyway, that’s the goal. Sleep more. Dream less terrible things. Get everything on my mommy to-do list checked off.
Gosh, I am SO GOOD at making resolutions. Wish I could keep them more often. :)