Things keep moving forwards

So I finally got a call from the endocrinologist’s office– appointment this week to meet with them, probably will be sent to do a blood draw. Or have one done to me . . . I could undoubtedly get a blood sample from myself but it wouldn’t be pleasant. Things are moving along, at least. The kids said “Good, because you’re getting so nervous we’re afraid you’re going to snap.” Ah, the honesty and forthrightness of them . . . .

We actually got a lot of things done over the weekend– finished the second coat of paint in my oldest daughter’s new room, moved some of her furniture in there, and painted the master bathroom shelves and papered them. Sorted out the linen closets and threw away the rattiest linens. Everything looks nice and orderly in all of them now. Not that I’m kidding myself that it will stay that way without a lot of effort. Keeping the house clean requires quite a bit of effort all around, something I am trying desperately to teach everyone. You simply can’t clean a room once and then leave it alone for a week. You have to pick up the trash and laundry and toys on a daily basis . . . but they are not yet sold on the idea.

It’s already a lot nicer around here, though, even with all the miscellaneous junk piled in the master bedroom and in the gameroom. I’m sorting through all of that and will (eventually) get it all put away, but the house smells better, looks better, and works better . . . in the refurbished areas, anyway. The Kingdom of Chaos is not actually chaotic– I was able to clean up in there in about five minutes, just by Hoovering the carpet and picking up a few toys, plus wiping down the surfaces with antibacterial cleaner. That’s a huge difference from the overly-crowded nursery they were living in last month– cleaning that jam-packed space was pretty much impossible.

Things are getting better. Just keeping my fingers crossed that they will continue to do so.

7 Quick Takes Friday, Version the Dubious Mama

~~~~1~~~~ So, I’m a little dubious about things these days– not the greater things like life and love, death and redemption, all that jazz– no, I’m just plain skeptical of our world and the fix it’s gotten itself into. Seriously, things are looking pretty grim for the future– the national debt, the political climate, the huge unresolved issues of immigration reform and entitlement spending. I’m an odd sort of person, I guess– I’m mostly a pretty pessimistic person by nature, but I like looking at the world as a whole in a larger historical context. But even in a historical context, we’re in a crappy place. It makes it hard to maintain my oh-so-cheerful demeanor.

~~~~2~~~~ Naturally, I have been trying to think about “Things to Do to Save Our Collective Butts.” Right now, all I can come up with is “Raise my kids to be sane, productive, faithful, and thoughtful citizens.” It doesn’t much feel like a superhero contribution, though. Especially since it involves such exciting things as “Wiping butts” and “Forcing children to learn to spell.” Also “Handwriting practice” and “Cleaning up Vomit.” Glamorous, this ain’t.

~~~~3~~~~ But then we get great homeschooling moments like last night, where the two redheaded young adults hung out with hubs and I after the boys’ bedtime to laugh and discuss the Jamestown massacres and the march of history. Even hubs got into it and looked up more info about Jamestown online while we talked about all the mishaps and problems those poor settlers had. And how the Native Americans really missed their chance to just finish them off. Sometimes, homeschooling is great.

~~~~4~~~~ Sometimes, things AREN’T as bad as they seem– Mere’s dental work this week for example. Sometimes I just work myself up into a frenzy for nothing.

~~~~5~~~~ Not really in much of a frenzy at the moment, though, as I am printing some different paintings for the Kingdom of Knights room. Just some Pre-Raphaelite stuff– ladies and knights. Sticking to the ones where the ladies are actually wearing clothes. Those artists, they had a thing for painting boobies. You have to really search for paintings that don’t show a maidenly bosom or two.

~~~~6~~~~ The Dollar Store will be on our errand list again, I can tell– I’m going to need frames for these pictures. Which reminds me that I need to spend the weekend getting the painting done in my daughter’s room. Ugh. I hate painting, really. Painting with a preschooler in the house is the worst– they want to, Lord help us, DO IT THEMSELVES. So they hoist a dripping paintbrush out of the paintcan and slosh a cup of paint directly into the just-cleaned carpeting. And all you want to do is scream but you have to be SO patient and re-direct them and then scrub ferociously at the paint stain. Because it IS a stain– that stuff ain’t never comin out of that carpet. At least it isn’t NEW carpet . . ..

~~~~7~~~~ I keep reminding myself that 90% of thyroid tumors are benign. That by the time one is sixty years old, sixty percent of us have thyroid tumors. That less than 5% of tumors found while doing an unrelated scan actually turn out to be cancerous. Ugh. It’s not very reassuring, though. Still waiting for my referral to an endocrinologist to come through. What’s the holdup, you know? Call the suckers and make an appointment, doc! (I’m giving them until Monday before I really freak out, though. I’m generous that way. Hah.) 90% are benign. 90 percent. Yeah, that’s good odds. Have to stay positive. I’ve got way too much to do to sit around and dwell on the possibilities. Which is true of everything, really. Too much to be done to sit on my butt and worry. Just have to keep movin.

Moving towards the weekend, first. . . .

Difficult things

Today was a difficult day. Not in a very epic sense– no one will be writing sagas about days like these– but it was definitely a long hard day for me.

Mostly the hard part was Mere’s dental appointment. We had to be there by 8:15, so naturally I couldn’t sleep much the night before. The staff was, however, very competent and kind and efficient and they had Mere in the back, blood pressure monitor and O2 monitor both on, and the iv shooting Versed into her faster than she even realized anything was happening. 

She thrashed around a bit once the drugs took hold, and they did have to re-do the IV, but they had her tooth out within twenty minutes of her walking in the door. We waiting around another half an hour while she recovered, but we were out the door within an hour. 

So much stress for something that was over so quickly! 

We got her some ice cream at Sonic and then picked up her pain medication from Walgreens. Once we got home, we gave her unlimited chocolate ice cream and Gatorade. Not a bad deal. I took a nap, much much longer than I had intended to, and then hit the road for the next ordeal– library trip and grocery trip.

Now, I feel like a wrung-out rag. My back is screaming and insisting that I haven’t taken any medication today (I have) . . . going to try just a hot bath and a muscle relaxer to see if I can get it to chill out. Daughter is going to make chicken fajita quesadillas for dinner– pretty easy since I bought premade guacamole and frozen cooked chicken fajita meat. All she’s got to do is butter up the tortillas and grill them with cheese and toppings. It shouldn’t be a difficult dinner prep– especially since the boys are playing a new Lego Star Wars game that I rented (with a free code) from Redbox. That should keep them out of her hair!

Now, where’s my bubble bath . .. .

And so it begins . . .

The summer has officially begun around here. Mostly, this has involved whining and an almost intolerable lack of sleep for the adult members of the household. But it’s begun and that’s something, anyway. Isn’t it?

Our first order of business is breakfast and then a quick assessment of our financial state, as we are completely out of milk and a life without milk is too much to contemplate. But, if I make a trip into town, I have to also do errands, none of which I want to do TODAY. So, which comes first, the schoolwork or the run to the dollar store? And just what is it that we need from town, anyway? Besides milk . . . .

I’m delaying, and I know it. I was supposed to start the day with exercise, but I hurt my foot last night while hobbling around in the dark, so I don’t feel very exercise-y. I hate exercise. I like swimming and puttering about with a tennis racquet and hiking and riding a bike in a scenic area, but exercise? Ugh. And if it hurts, forget it.

So, I am going to go downstairs, get the boys involved in some kind of project, and try to get the teenagers started on their work. Which may be more difficult than getting the little boys working. After all, it is Summer and that’s practically a high holy day of sloth and procrastination.

I can do this, I can, I can . . . .

I hear positive self-talk actually helps. We’ll see.

The Waiting Game

So Mere is stalking around the house, humming incessantly, and stuffing random objects into whatever zippered containers she can find. The boys’ backpacks, her backpack, her sister’s backpack, all the purses, laptop cases, old diaper bags still hanging around in the closet– you name it. If it has a zipper, it undoubtedly now holds a book, a dvd, or a knick-knack. She’s got her favorite items to “stuff” into bags– we haven’t found a pattern yet. Lately she’s been fond of stuffing the huge paperback copy of Ford Madox Ford’s Parade’s End series (which I bought used, postage included, for $5 from Great Britain). It must have 1500 pages, but she is determined and I keep finding it in my purse. Maybe she thinks I need a little light reading.

Mere’s been antsy all day, but she became really aggravated when we brought home the mice. Yes, I finally allowed the Ninja and the Tank to replace their pet mice. The previous pair died under mysterious circumstances for which no one wants to take the blame, but they’ve sworn up and down that THESE mice shall live. I certainly hope so– I had to go to two different pet stores before I found female mice. My oldest decided that male mice had unpleasant aesthetics– huge testicles. They’re mice, of course they have big ones. They breed like . . . well, mice.

Anyway, the two FEMALE mice are ensconced in the mouse cage, happy as mice can presumably be. Butterscotch and Anna. Okay. The boys are happy. The cats still don’t know about them. And Mere is bugged that something CHANGED. OMG! Can you believe it? Another change on top of a whole bunch of changes, and this one is small and squishable. I just hope she keeps her hands to herself. I don’t want to lose another small animal to her ungentle handling.

I’m bugged, too. Mostly because I am waiting, waiting, waiting to hear back about my ultrasound. Hubs watched the lady do the ultrasound and he said that he personally saw multiple small cysts. Which could be something innocuous, who knows. We won’t know until the doctor gets the results from the doctor who evaluates the darn things. And then, maybe, we’ll have an idea of what’s going to happen. Will I need the next level of tests? Or will they just say “ah, it’s harmless. Here, have some fake thyroid hormone”?

I bet you know which result I am rooting for.

It’s a tedious game, though, just about as tedious as going through the house and removing dvds and books from all our zippered pouches. I need to make it to Mass, as I missed last week. I needed to go to reconciliation, but I just didn’t have the emotional energy today. Instead, I went and spoiled my kids with rodents and bought my husband a father’s day gift and spent some time in the garden. I plan to make it to reconciliation next Thursday or Saturday. By then, I should have some idea what’s going on. By then, maybe I can unburden my heart and confess all these uncharitable awful feelings that I’ve been having. Until then, I’ll skip the Eucharist and just keep praying for good news. I feel wretched, and I know that confession would lighten my burden considerably, but I’m just not there yet. I’m still waiting for the waiting to end.

Ah well. And so it goes.

 

7 Quick Takes Friday, Version the Anxiety Level

1. So, yes, I have an appointment this afternoon to have my thyroid gland ultrasounded. Echo-located? Something. I am understandably anxious and not too interested in anything else.

2. Yes, school got out for the summer just yesterday, so my kids are naturally already complaining about how much this summer is going to suck. Since I am too anxious to concentrate on Making Their Lives Wonderful (see 1, above), things are apparently Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, etc, et al, etc. Whatever. They’ll live.

3. My daughter has gotten the former nursery space cleaned out and she’s washing down the walls. You know what this means, right? Yes, more damned painting. I still need to put a second coat on the Knight’s Paradise or whatever we’re calling it this week, but since the boys have all their furniture moved in, it doesn’t look likely to happen anytime soon. This means I’ll be painting my daughter’s room a soft cream and then bickering with her about the proper way to paint pink stripes over the cream. Good times will be had.

4. My arm may not survive it, as it’s still sore from last week’s painting of the Kingdom of Smelly Socks. My pain level has been pretty bad this week, thanks to all the stress. My back is just so stiff! I know I need to do some stretching exercises and limber things up, but I feel like a wooden doll. With pain receptors.

5. I took the Ninja to the eye doctor this week, but I still feel like I am behind the 8-ball when it comes to getting my kids all of their health care done. I need to just dig out one of my appointment books/calendars and sit down with the phone and make some appointments. I hate talking on the phone. Especially when there’s conflicting dates and times. They always seem so put-out when you explain that, no, you can’t make it on Tuesday because you’re taking your other kid somewhere else. I’ve got 5 kids. Multiply that by eye exams, annual physicals, dental checkups, and summer activities and my summer suddenly seems very short and mostly spent in waiting rooms.

6. Still anxious. Worrying doesn’t make it better, stress is bad for your health, take deep breaths, etc . . . I used to teach this stuff to people. I know the drill. I just can’t make it work for myself. All I want right now is a couple milligrams of Xanax and a long nap. Preferably one where I wake up and I’m living in the body of a hot 18 year old again.

7. Speaking of impossible dreams, I’m dreaming of a world where the A rated books in book reviews are actually worth reading. So far, I’m finding most of them to be dreadful. I’m not even sure I can force myself to finish a couple of them. If life only contains a finite amount of time to read, why should I spend it reading a very poor allegorical tale of werewolves being compared to A) Muslims B) HIV patients, or C) minorities of your choice? “Red Moon”, so far, blows. I think it’s going back to the library.

Eliminate the negative

So, my boys have some issues.

To wit: my Ninja is fidgety and has noticeable seasonal allergies. His digestive system leaves much to be desired.

The Tank has behavioral problems and seems to have allergic reactions to food: red cheeks, mood changes, etc. 

So, we’re going to do an allergy elimination diet this summer.

No, I am not looking forward to it.

My oldest daughter is highly allergic to milk, however, and it definitely makes her feel bad. What if the boys are allergic, too, and I just don’t know? How much of their fidgety misery is just that they don’t feel well? 

If my insurance ever gets past the deductible (which it probably will after all my thyroid tests) I may take them in to the allergy clinic for a round of tests. It may be worth it to get the Ninja shots to get him over whatever he happens to be allergic to– he’s had these problems for years, and stuffy ears can’t be helping him with his hearing problems (leftover from his infancy ear infections.) The Tank’s reactions seem to be more food-centered– he doesn’t have the allergy bags under his eyes and stuffy nose/head. We’ll see how this all goes. If he does better off of certain foods, we will definitely do the allergy tests.

Anyway, I am still not looking forward to it. Eliminating the highest-probability allergens leaves them with a diet of fruits and rice and veggies and some meats, and that’s about it. They’re used to snacking on crackers and eating packaged cereal… they won’t be happy to go without. But, it’s all to the good. And it’s only a couple weeks, anyway.

The things we do for our kids, really . . ..